i see the cracks, do i look the other way?

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the urgent desire to hug you close one last time before the leaving the house,

the talking through my fears about us to a friend earlier on,

the calling you to come meet us for wine,

the casually pointing out to you my favourite flowers, 

all fatefully lead to our mini blow-out last night.

now some cracks are showing. backside, frontside upside down. dark sides have been shown. no turning back.

what is your decision? what do i want? is it all worthwhile? 

heart blown wide open. the cage bird fallen. aching. lying on the unknown. unsure.

trying to make a decision that will probably change in your presence. 

trying to hear my heart through the storm. the shit storm. the sandy wind. 

waiting. hoping. waiting for the sound of your true love to signal. send a message because if it doesn’t come i already know what must be done. 

 

 

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