i came to pick up my bike 3 days later.

i was received by jack siberian frost. i did not recognise you. you were wearing a mask. hiding behind a cold gaze. a frozen encasing with a warm central pump. i held your gaze. curious. sad. hurt. asking. behind the glass shutters i found desperation. refusal. fear. antiquated rage. a cryogenic freeze deterring the tears. galvanising reality in self protection. dissolving your emotions. in those eyes i saw a man who didn’t want to be that way. a sad man stuck in a mould that had long ago hardened like cement. i saw the words HELP ME in your eyes. beyond your eyes i see your heart. the same one that was made of sugar. the same one that could heat a 10 story building during the coldest winter. the same one that poured love and vulnerability and joy into me.

now i am choosing to sustain those memories, as the last of us, in my own heart. thank you for the journey. on my way out of this chapter i have defined exactly what i want from love.

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