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uh oh. i’ve done it again. just when i think i am over you….

i listen to the music you do. i twitter you. i email you.

i see you in our relationship so clear now. not through the oxytocin glasses i was living it. and yet i keep looking beyond and seeing something more in your heart. when i listen to the sad bluesy love songs you post i think someone who listens to this feels deeply. i can’t help but just think you’ve been hurt so profoundly your afraid of your own wounds. this always happens. i get so tangled up in destructive emotions of others. in this case yours because you are…….

18/01/14

i just found the above as a saved draft and the end to the last sentence is …..not human. shortly after i wrote that post we met again and had another short lived affair in which i was your play thing and amusement for new years eve after that you proceeded with your signature destructive phrase where you do everything to get rid of me for someone else-lies, scandals, games and a whatsapp profile photo of another woman. unfortunately i forgive AND forget far too easily and also craved your familiarity (sex, touch, compliments…) and went back to you for the last time in May 2013. it lasted a whole surprising 7 months! the outcome: those sad/cheesy love  songs i mention above are saved in your spotify for women, to impress, swoon and woo them and then later when you have cheated, ruined everything and moved on you return to try and woo her back in with one of her favourite songs on your spotify list as if it was a good memory of your time together. in my experience.

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