lunes de mierda enero 20(14)


what a strange day. i woke up in a hazy dazy bad mood which continued until i had to teach. zumba class couldn’t shake it although i did shake a whole lot else and it did raise the corners of my mouth a bit but not enough to rid me of glum. not even the jacuzzi followed by the sauna managed it. in the sauna i was left alone with mr. tall dark and handsome that i shared the dry sauna with on saturday, and even sat there across from him i had NO desire whatsoever to strike up a conversation. i remained in glumville trying to will HIM, in vain, to say something. didn’t work. “say something, just say something to me, come on i know you want to, just say it!”. repeating that mantra over and over in my head had no positive effect AT all. i said ciao on the way out. the whole situation only exaserbated my feeling old, wrinkly and ugly. not like me to feel that way but lately looking in the mirror is a shock someone should warn me about. but hey-ho whatever c’est la vie we can’t all look like gisela bundechen without winter dandruff. i had to drag myself to teach yoga which doesn’t seem right for a teacher (professional life crisis happening) but it turned out to be a very good class followed by another one that was even more inspired and enlightening-yay. lately i’ve been chatting with myself a lot trying to convince head, heart and soul to get along under all circumstances. i visualise us all locked in an embrace, as you do when you’ve let yourself be walked all over by a sociopath and are picking up your pieces determined NEVER to let it happen again! well tonight during meditation i found myself spontaneously visualising myself stroking my mind as if it were a pet on a leash and re-assuring it to calm and relax itself. very funny. but it worked most effectively. so now that i’ve got that monkey tamed (for now) let’s see how i managed to dominate my (bi-polar) world. 

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