a split second and my perspective changed (for the better)

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patience. you’ve got to have patience. know who your acquaintances are, who your friends are and who you’re loved ones are. 

life is always going to throw you curves balls just when you think you have yours figured out, to keep you on your toes, learning and growing. the best survival tool is patience and knowing how to discern from what to keep and what to throw away, what is valuable and what is a fraud, what is genuine and what is a fake. another great and important one is knowing when to let go. in fact being able to let go, remaining present and sincere always but staying detached. life is so fluid and nothing is permanent. 

two things occurred to me today. talking with J.A in class today we opined on much of the above. he raised the topic of relationships (of any sort) ending and how people react. also of discerning between real friendships and acquaintances. he hinted at ending classes with me at the end of the year to move onto a different way of studying english. that did not offend me at all. work relationships end and new beginnings start and it must be that way, especially as a freelancer or i would be stuck but over the course of our philosophical conversation i realised that i would miss this one hour per week where occasionally we work out the worlds problems. we share many points of view and disagree on many but the conversation is always enlightening and enjoyable. 

one solution would be to offer conversation meets up every other week at lunch hour….but detachment is a key practice in these situations. 

my second revelation for today was a burst of mini inspiration. stop looking at things the wrong way. so there is a very cute life guard at the swimming pool. actually there are many cute life guards there but a certain one wave and said hola to me from across the pool  the other day. two days later it hit me and i thought how cute. when i went to the pool today he was there but did not acknowledge me and i almost let it get me down. how teenage. like relationships, sincronicity and energies are that simple!

when JA and i were talking today i realised once again how few people smile and are friendly in general, well at least here it is rare. eye contact is rare. this particular life guard smiles. a lot. to nobody in particular and to people, he knows and does not know. this is a beautiful quality and a rare one. so why was i looking at our contact from across the pool as a potential opportunity with the opposite sex when the real potential opportunity is for friendship? when i view him sexually i get nervous and feel too eager to speak with him, for the hope of something and for having a jaded perspective but if i turn that perspective around, my intentions change and it puts us on level ground and so i do not have to feel sad he did not say anything today because next time i will say hello without shame, desire, ulterior motive or hope, just an open mind toward a new situation.  

i love finding the positive in the equation. what a rush. this is when life really feels blissful. 

grateful.

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