lover

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i want love. but first i want a lover. i want to spend days in bed laughing, cuddle, making love and living out fantasies with my lover. i want a man who adores me but not from a place of selfish ulterior motives or manipulation, from a place within his heart and soul. i want a man who looks at me like there is nothing else equal on this planet. a look of you rock every part of my being. one of every experience with you is new. i want a lover who communicates from truth, always. who is clear and sincere. i want a lover who is a man, who knows himself what he likes and wants and who has the courage to be 100% honest with himself and me all the time. i want a patient lover who does not rush in life and who won’t rush passion. i want a lover who understands that taking your time is erotic and reaps far more benefits than rushing to finish and get to the next thing. i want to lie next to my lover and read erotic literature. i want a lover who can be silly with me, and romantic and strong. i want a lover who can accept my highs and lows. i want a lover who understands that real connection is via the heart not knowing where is someone is at all times or whatapps. i want a lover who possesses me but knows he does not own me. i want a lover who is available but has his own life, dreams, desires that he fulfils as well. i want a lover who is kind, generous and open and has the courage to be that way without feeling threatened by a relationship or love. i want a lover to have romantic dinners with. to lie on the beach with. to contemplate life with. to feel distance with and to feel close with. i want a lover to go on cheeky weekend get-aways with. to fuck and to make deep passionate love to. i want a lover to tell my fantasies to and to live them out with. i want a lover who appreciates a womans body, mind, energy and soul and who knows that when he is vulnerable, generous and open he receives. i want a lover to cook with. to have sunday brunch with and lazy days with. i want a lover to miss and to anticipate. i want a lover to learn and discover with. i want a poetic lasting love affair that grows and evolves. i want a lover who is not a sociopath faking all of this but who is a real human being with great awareness and heart who desires the same pure, passionate and erotic connection as i do without fear of losing independence. i want a lover that is present enough to understand that i won’t suffocate him. i want a lover who is intense but soft and patient. i want a lover who feels like he can’t live without me, who  misses me but who is intelligent enough to fulfil his life in many other ways. i want a lover who loves to touch, caress and kiss me and who finds hours to waste doing so. i want a lover that savours life. i want a lover who has a well paid job and who appreciates having me on his arms. i want a lover who can open up and share his emotions with me but not to complain and treat me as a sounding board but because he appreciates my feedback or the way i  listen. i want a lover who listens too. i want a lover who will bring 5L bezoya water when he comes because he knows it’s a shag carrying it up 5 flights of stairs. i want a lover who is cooking when i get home or who has a bottle of wine open and pours me a glass when i arrive. i want a lover who will share his heart enough that we are close and connected. i want a lover who  makes surprise plans for us. i want a lover who is willing to observe, listen and learn about me.  i want a lover who is exceptional in all these ways and who sees that i am as well.

for the moment i don’t need to know his friends, or family. i don’t want a project with him, a joint account or a house together. i don’t want to talk about the future either. i just want to live in the present with him and make every moment count.

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