my heart is always in love and forever naive but wiser every day.
F-you were meant to be a one night stand. we salsa-ed hard and i adored how easy going and up for anything you were. you were so sweet about not being able to salsa and just making up the moves but continuing to dance energetically with me without any worries or cares. we jived so goddamn well, it was insanely sexy. you followed my lead and it was wild. but after when it came time to talk you seemed so nervous and unsure of yourself, you lacked major confidence except when it came to trying to get into my pants, ha! i had you so hot from dancing, you were all spiced up. when you spontaneously grabbed and lifted me so that i could wrap my legs around your waist i was in heaven. we kissed like this, i was in ecstasy. there was a lot of heavy hot petting happening and i enjoyed it so much. but i went home alone that night satisfied and leaving you with my number. a month later i suddenly had an unquenchable urge for sex with you. focused only on that i set it up. initially it was disappointing because you were so nervous and unsure of yourself but i appreciated listening to you speak about stuff and you seemed so intrigued by me.you look at me with intrigue in your eyes but nervous emotions. flirtations were feeble. when you held my hand i was heart broken-it felt so good, you must have been missing someone….
unfortunately there was no foreplay just some kissing and down to business in bed. i tried to get you to come round to a sensual rhythm but i wasn´t successful-i wish i had been more domineering, that is what you need. in my way i was in a rush to get with you too, i didn´t react to the subtle clues and opportunities for more flirting-like when you were looking at and commenting on my Eric Stanton book!
Sex felt uninspired. i know i could have spiced it up with a bit of direction and role playing-me as the dominatrix which is what you wanted and needed. i tried asking you what you like but you didn´t know. i got dry with you and that never happens. i was left wanting another chance to prove to you and myself the sex(y) vixen that i am……..
then in the morning you tried to escape but i tied you down a bit longer-oh so sweet and vulnerable. i love your presence. your vibe and warm smile melt me. you look like a man on the outside but are such a timid boy on the inside. i want to shake you up but learn from and remember what it is to be taking on the world for the first time. i want you to be my muse and love while i am your dominatrix. i want to be the lover you come to to feel at home in your own skin. i want to sustain you and i forever want to see that adoration in your eyes when you look at me.
come back, be in my life, let me be a piece of yours….
what i adore about you is your inherent openness to experience, the way you really go with the flow.you came into my life to help me grow and become strong, as i did you, now i need you back here to make that happen.
Best advice i´ve received:
give what you want to receive-love give love, romance give romance and “if there is no energy (response) then forget about it, move on.”
give without expectations or hopes for what you will receive, give from the heart because it is what you are feeling and then let it go.
don’t worry if the other person does not respond, maybe it is not a good time in his life to be with or respond to you no matter his level of interest in you.
don’t give someone else your power, you will lose energy and be nothing
As my mirror: you get nervous and insecure around people you look up to or like. you lose confidence to speak up but you like to be around them because it is comforting. your energy is so open and welcoming, you felt like me.