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i am totally fucking perplexed. my roommate spends the vast majority of her days in a cloud of uncertainty, insecurity and despair. she is 31 years old, beautiful, on sabbatical  with nursing and midwifery studies and experience, the possibility to work and earn well anywhere in the world, money to spare, a boyfriend and the world is her oyster yet her entire life according to her is a problem. rather than show gratitude she is always questioning, doubting and complaining about everything. she rarely laughs or cracks a joke and although very well intentioned and kind hearted seems full of negative thoughts. she´s always down and comparing herself to others, in short she seems totally lost yet totally amazing and cool things just fall into her lap. no wonder i´m so overwhelmed and fed up with living together. she reminds me of krishinda and all the complaining, when it suits her, that she does. boring, but it seems to be working for them. i bow my head in gratitude everyday. i challenge myself everyday to be happy, in fact i have worked damn hard for it, i work to create the life i want to live, i try fucking hard to stay, be and radiate positive energy everyday and avoid vain glorious complaining. i ask the universe and angels for help and i try not to allow too much doubt to seep in. i do yoga, meditate, swim, whatever i need to to conscientiously stay centered and i don´t know, somehow i feel like if i let go of all that my life would fall to shit. that if i started complaining all the time then that would become my reality. i suppose for all my self work and intention i am happier/healthier than her??? it seems unfair that all the option are thrown at her for free!!! i do not aspire to be like her, in fact i think the energy has already rubbed off on me too much, but what am i doing wrong, what do i need to change?

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