Dear F

Standard

you asked me if you were good (in bed) and at the time i wanted to slap you for being so insecure and pathetic, here is my answer:

you were mechanical. you fucked me through an impenetrable protective shield. i was unsure if it was because you wanted to make clear to me that you were not interested or if that is just the way you are, cold, distant, protected, desperate. you were difficult to get near physically despite us being naked in the same bed, emotionally and verbally!! i sensed a sort of desperation, confusion, insecurity from you. in short sex was horrible. it was awful mechanical movement of two bodies without any sensuality. a total shock after the sparks that flew between us when dancing. your head and your heart were/are not aligned. your heart was not in it so you shouldn’t have been there.

when i said relax i meant let go, open yourself, enjoy. whether you were afraid or intentional doesn’t matter the truth is that you will never make love until you learn to love what you are making. you must allow a connection to happen, you must open yourself to permitting the other person into your energetic space so that juices can flow. you must be strong and mature enough to know that consensual sex can be an agreement for just that and still be an emotional, vulnerable experience. if you don’t let your guard down and learn to receive as well as give without rushing you will never feel the depth of an orgasm. it is a gift but one you must earn-let feminine energy intertwine with your masculine energy, then you will be a man.

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