I went to see this talk tonight given by Annie Lalla called the leadership of love. Everything she said made sense! I love her! It was interesting to look around the audience and see people shaking their heads at certain comments, I wondered how many people in that auditorium would actually understand and apply her methods.
Bottom line, it takes work but according to her it is the best work there is. She reckons love is the best experience we can have and that it really does complete us. I was hurt by this theory because haven’t had an intimate partner in a long time but I want one and listening to Annie raised some good points to reflect on. Apparently if after working on finding love in earnest after three months you do not have it there is a fundamental block/fear stopping you from allowing it in.
I reflected on this: I’m afraid to expose to somebody else the things about myself that I find unattractive. I feel almost ashamed of them and therefor don’t accept myself fully but somehow expect someone else to! Those things are: my skin imperfections, spider veins, missing tooth, big legs. I guess I thought I loved myself but writing this I clearly don’t fully but I really want somebody else to! So here is what I feel I need to do to really love me wholly and attract a man into my life who will accept all those things about me that I wish were different:
- wearing more fitting pants and not covering my ass with a long shirt!
Today going to yoga class in leggings and not covering my ass with a long shirt for the first time was liberating-the teacher was divine but I didn’t care. Once I started to move my body I felt pretty awesome hot!
- go to yoga more
- go to salsa and ecstatic dance more, in fitting clothing or short skirts
- get back to smiling more (now that my tooth implant is underway) 🙂
- laugh more
- find ways everyday to pamper the parts of me I wish were different
- start believing (again) that love and a relationship CAN happen to ME.
- learn to accept as my rich history and tapestry the things about my physical body I wish were different.
Annie also pointed out that a relationship is the best place to see who you really are, which is why some many people avoid them!
I loved her tips on how she keeps the marriage spark alive: she finds ways to love her husbands defects, “have sex, always, even if you’re too tired-it’s always good within 5 minutes!!”
- “a relationship is a collaboration, you should be fully involved in each others lives and supporting them always”, be a team